Heart Matters: “Then King David said to Ornan, “No, but I will surely buy it for full price, for I will not take what is yours for the LORD, nor offer burnt offerings with that which cost me nothing.” 1^st Chronicles 21:24

I’ve been a follower of Christ for many years now but this principle of sacrifice is something I’ve only recently began to comprehend and embrace. Sacrifice from the stand point of what Christ did for me at Calvary was something I got. After all, it was His Spirit illuminating me with this truth and convicting me of the sins the LORD paid for me there which led to my salvation. I can clearly recall all those years ago how I was so excited to know the LORD and yet at the same time so fearful about potentially having to suffer for his name. I vividly remember telling Jesus “Lord I love you, but please don’t call me to suffer.” Somehow I just knew that suffering was, had to be, a vital part of following Christ…..and I wanted nothing to do with that part of it.

Fast-forward many years later and I have not only suffered in many different ways, but am also very grateful for how the LORD has both blessed and called me to do so. I had to spiritually grow to understand that without the refining fire, well, I wouldn’t grow spiritually. I had to learn about the Sovereignty of the LORD, how my identity as a peculiar person for HIM means that nothing can enter my life without first passing through His nailed pierced hands. I also had to accept the kind of LOVE the LORD had for me, so sweet and good that HE would lay down His life for me, and so strong and tough that HE would teach me how to lose my life in a way that I could fully live for HIM. I now know and have grown in spiritually maturity to know that the suffering the LORD allows in my life has a purpose-and it’s always GOOD. As I said before, with the LORD, the end always justifies the means.

Yet while I finally learned the importance of suffering for the sake of Christ. I still turned a blind eye to the principle of sacrificing for Christ. You see suffering is usually unwanted, an uninvited circumstance which has been in some way thrust upon us. But sacrifice is a choice we have to willingly make.

WHEN JESUS DIED ON THE CROSS FOR OUR SIN, HE CHOSE BOTH TO SUFFER AND TO SACRIFICE FOR US

Jesus chose to sacrifice His life and suffer on the cross for you sins and mine. Therefore, it should go without saying that being willing to sacrifice for the LORD is just as important as being willing to suffer for HIM.  Our willingness to both suffer and sacrifice for HIM is indicative of our level of surrender to HIM.

THE PRINCIPLE OF SACRIFICE

I want to say I had a sort of mental block (a very stubborn one at that) when it came to this principle of sacrifice. I’m a true believer that the LORD calls us to opportunities to sacrifice for Him in order to bless us to one day hear “well done My good and faithful servant.” He doesn’t really need anything from us but HE lovingly gives us the privilege to bless and serve HIM. Furthermore, when we sacrifice, we get to identify with HIM. However, up until recently I was gravely overlooking the ways the LORD was calling me to sacrifice. I’m going to share with y’all just how foolish I have been in one particular and profound area of my refusal to heed the call to sacrifice….to my shame. I want to say approximately 13 or 14 years ago (maybe longer) the LORD began waking me up every morning at exactly 5am on the dot! I knew it was HIM, because for one I am not a morning person and secondly it was always 5am on the dot. Therefore, I knew HE was waking me up to spend time with HIM. Sometimes I responded by getting my butt out of bed while stilled extremely sleepy eyed and foggy brained to give the LORD a few minutes of my time all the while longing to return to the comfort of my bed and the satisfaction of my sleep. I have to say when I did get out of the bed, my goal was to check off my list and return to it as quickly as possible-that was the extent of my best effort. But most times I responded by looking up to the LORD, smiling, and saying “Aww LORD I know that’s YOU, YOU’RE so sweet” and then rolling over and snuggling under my comforter even more.  I thought it was okay. Because sacrifice is a choice after all…isn’t it? (We’ll come back to this).

Now let me tell you how gracious the LORD is and how HE responded to my failure in this thing. After several years of waking me up at 5am, HE changed the time to 5:30am. HE would wake me up like clock work every morning at 5:30am…on the dot. This went on for years. For years! And I still responded just as I did when HE woke me up at 5am. Eventually, after many years, HE ceased waking me up early. And I thought wow well its Him saying “its okay…you don’t have to get up early to spend time with ME,” and I was grateful. Afterall every time I shared with other believers how HE wanted me to get up early to be with HIM, they would gently rebuke me by saying that it’s okay to spend time with HIM at any time of the day. Especially when my head is more clear, even if that meant right before I went asleep.

I guess they were willing to overlook the principle of “first fruits” and how in the Old Testament they were called to sacrifice the unblemished. They were called to give to the LORD first and not last and they were called to take the time to select the best for HIM.

So, there I was, living my life, thinking all is well between myself and the LORD. I was still experiencing HIM and HIS blessings! Well then how did I come to realize that I was out of order and that my unwillingness to sacrifice the way HE had decided for me was disobedience? It’s simple! HE told me so HIMSELF!

Notice I said my unwillingness to sacrifice was disobedience. Isn’t sacrifice a choice? Yes, it is! That’s the beauty of it, we can choose to sacrifice or not. However, it can be a bit more complicated than that. There are times when we can choose on our own accord to offer a sweet-smelling aroma to our LORD through some sort of sacrifice we decide to offer HIM. For example, my neighbor Ms. Rosa decided she wanted to do something really special for “her LORD.” She shared with me how because of how good HE is to her she wanted to forgo something that would cost her to show her love for HIM in a very special way. So she decided to give up alcoholic drinks. She loved having occasional margaritas and she enjoyed bourbon with milk in the winters. Although she didn’t drink in excess and in now way had a problem with it, it was something she especially enjoyed in social settings and had exercised her freedom to do so. But she decided to forgo it altogether…just for HIM and she has never faltered in her commitment to this sacrifice. It costs her at times but she’s glad to do it. 

On the other hand, there are times when the LORD HIMSELF will call us to a particular sacrifice. And even though yes, it is still a choice, the choice to say “no” in this case is one of disobedience. When the LORD selects the sacrifice, we should choose to gladly submit.

Talk about the LORD being long-suffering. HE suffered my disobedience for many years. There’s more I could share about this process but it would be a whole “nother” blog post.

 All I can say the LORD led me to realize that I was CALLED to this sacrifice of getting up early in the morning to spend time with HIM. HE has given me this privilege to offer up the first fruits of my time and attention to HIM. It is there that HE SPEAKS TO me.

He showed me something about myself too. I had to acknowledge that I really don’t like to sacrifice especially when it comes to my flesh. Don’t ask me to fast because I don’t want to give up food. Don’t ask me to wake up early because I love to stay up late and sleep in as long as I can.  But what did the apostle Paul say about his flesh? He said he crucified his flesh daily. And what did Jesus do concerning His flesh? The Perfect, Sinless, LAMB OF GOD, allowed HIMSELF to be crucified for us!  

THE PERFECT SACRIFICE

“Therefore, when HE came into the world, HE said: “Sacrifice and offering You did not desire, But a body You have prepared for Me. In burnt offerings and sacrifices for sin You had no pleasure. Then I said, ‘Behold, I have come- In the volume of the book it is written of Me- To do Your will, O God.’” “Previously saying, “Sacrifice and offering, burnt offerings, and offerings for sin You did not desire, nor had pleasure in them” (which are offered according to the law), then He said, “Behold, I have come to do Your will, O God.” He takes away the first that He may establish the second. By that will we have been sanctified through the offering of the body of Jesus Christ once for all.” Hebrews 10: 5-10

Jesus allowed HIS flesh to be torn and sacrificed to save us.

HEART TO HEART: IF WE WERE WORTH THE SACRIFICE TO JESUS, WE SHOULD BE WILLING TO SACRIFICE FOR HIM.

HEART TO HEART: “But Jesus said to them, “Because of the hardness of heart he wrote you this commandment.” Mark 10:5

Since the end of last year I have been working on a blog post titled “JOY”, which I still intend on publishing but today I am compelled by the Holy Spirit to post this one first. Now don’t go looking at the title and assuming you know my business. 🙂 I am not considering divorcing my husband or vice versa lol. I will say I have been married for almost 30 years and it hasn’t always been easy. So you can know the person writing this has experienced both ups and downs and some serious heartaches and pains (as has my better half) and so I’m no rookie in this game. But suffice it to say I’m not writing this blog post from my own experience but rather from what the LORD showed me today in my quiet time with Him. I hope you’ll be blessed.

In Mark chapter 10 the Pharisees (that is the religious establishment of the day) wanting to test Jesus (as usual) decided to question Him about divorce. They asked Him (verse 2) “whether it was lawful for a man to divorce a wife.” Now they already knew that it was “lawful” so they probably were thinking it was a contradiction of sorts to what the LORD had established for marriage beginning in Genesis…“the two shall become one flesh.” Gen. 2:24 Jesus answered them by asking a question (verse 3) “what did Moses command you?” Well the Pharisees knew right well what Moses had commanded because the Law came through Moses and they were all about the law, they were legalist. So they answered him and said “Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away” (verse 4). Now this is where it gets really interesting!

I’ve read these Scriptures many times but this time Jesus’ response practically lifted off of the pages for me. Notice what HE said: “because of the hardness of you heart he wrote you that commandment.” Mark 10:5 Jesus response explains the reason Moses was allowed to allow them to do so. It was because of the hardness of their hearts! This verse is the heart of what this blog post is about. Jesus went on to reiterate exactly what the LORD’s position on marriage is. HE said “But from the beginning of creation, God made them male and female. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother, and the two shall become one flesh; so they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate” (verses 6-9). Here Jesus quotes the Book of Genesis. (By the way when this was stated in Genesis, the Law hadn’t yet been given, remember the Law came through Moses, that is Moses was God’s chosen instrument through which HE revealed His Law). Then HE adds “What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.”

Once the two become one, they are to remain one! Herein lies God’s perfect will for marriage! But why then were they ever allowed to put their wives away? Because of the hardness of their hearts! This must mean that are hardened heart is a son of a gun! Once that heart hardens up, sin has done her bidding and the results can be heart wrenching! It’s like God is saying if you refuse to deal with your hardened hearts towards your wives, she’ll actually be better off if you’d divorce her. Now before I go deeper into this issue and before you accuse me of blasphemy, I want you to know that I am in no way condoning divorce. Furthermore, please know that I am not saying that the LORD condones divorce. Malalchi 2:16 says”God hates divorce.” In that same verse the words “violence” and “treachery” are attached to it. Divorce and its consequences can be devastating! Still it is important to note that God in His Word has allowed for conditions (that is sexual immorality) in which divorce if decided upon is acceptable (see Matt. 5:32). But even then, because of who HE is-The Forgiver of sins-HE is always willing to heal and restore the broken marriages of those in which both parties desire the same. God hates divorce but can and will still forgive the sins which led to it and whenever possible, He’s willing to restore. But get this, divorce because of sexual immorality- that’s black and white. Divorce because of a hardened heart-now we’re in the gray areas of life. This kind of divorce is a sinful divorce, it’s like a choosing of the lesser of the two evils: a man living with his wife with a hardened heart or a man rejecting and putting away his wife. Both are wrong and both or sin. Allow me to explain. First, please know that this blog post is in no way an indictment of those who have divorce in their story-for whatever reason. God knows and God offers forgiveness and healing through His Son Jesus Christ. I’m writing instead to share what I learned from Mark 10 and emphasize how important it is for us to guard our hearts!

Now back to the Scriptures! ! I believe Jesus’ response to the Pharisees is a strong indication that the command Moses was allowed to give them was never meant to supersede God’s command for marriage. Jesus told them plainly that the divorce Moses commanded only came into play because of the hardness of their hearts. As such, the hard heart is really the heart of the matter!

Once again, it is as if the LORD decided that a man staying in his marriage with an unrepentant hard heart towards his wife would be worse than him putting her away and divorcing her. It has to be at the very least just as sinful and treacherous. When a man stays with a hardened heart in his marriage, the sin remains and his wife (or vice versa) is left having to live under it’s rule and consequences (meanness, hatefulness, abandonment and neglect). In essence it is like a divorce-separating one’s heart from the other, in which one remains physically. The other is left living life on their spouse’s terms-dreaming and desiring to have a marriage as it should be and always trying to maintain a sense of hope of what it one day it could be.

As I read these verses in Mark I couldn’t help but notice that Jesus could have said more to the Pharisees about this matter. I know this because it is in fact exactly what he did when the disciples asked him more about it in Mark 10: 10-12. Why is it that Jesus didn’t go on to tell the Pharisees what He later told His disciples about marriage and divorce? Well, it’s probably the same reason He allowed Moses to allow them to put their wives away-because of the hardness of their hearts. And of course we can’t forget those wrong motives which were springing out of their hardened hearts. See, the Pharisees were never interested in truly understanding this issue-they simply wanted to try to test Jesus. So He didn’t bother to explain it any further, and they missed out on the chance to know and understand the heart of God as it relates to marriage.

Verses 10-12 reveal that there’s more to it! It says “in the house the disciples began questioning Him about this again.” (By the way when you walk with God, know it’s always okay to ask Him your questions. He wants you to know and understand the truth)! Jesus responded to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her; and if she herself divorces her husband and marries another man, she is committing adultery.” Wow! Now I get it! You see the LORD’s way is always perfect and right. The LORD’s way keeps us from sinning, and as such it keeps us from the consequence of sin. Wait I’m getting ahead of myself here. I hope you already get this but just in case let me explain.

These verses explain that God has never moved from His position of hating divorce or His perspective that when two people marry, they become one. And in HIS eyes, except for sexual sin (which I believe is because it breaks the covenant of marriage), the two still remain one-even if one lawfully puts away his wife because of the hardness of his heart! So if they were to put away their wives because of the hardness of their hearts-because they just couldn’t stand to be with them any more, they also had better remain single and never entered into another relationship again because the moment they did they began committing adultery!

Whew chile! This is no contradiction folks! Jesus has made it clear God’s perfect will and plan for the institution of marriage! By both quoting Genesis to the Pharisees and going on to explain to the disciples the ramifications of putting one’s wife away for an whatever reason a hard heart has contrived, Jesus has reaffirmed God’s stand on marriage and divorce!

This is so deep and profound and once again it points to the fact that God is never pleased with action alone but rather HE’s always about the condition of the heart. Wow! God knows without a change of heart, nothing really changes at all.  

Okay I have to reiterate, just for emphasis because once again I believe this is profound! It’s as if the Lord is saying if you’re going to stay in a marriage but resign to keeping your wrong heart, you might as well leave. In a sense it’s just as bad. But (and this is a Big But) if you do leave, know that your sin of choosing divorce is only going to lead to even more sin. Sin left undealt with-always begets more sin.

Sin is sneaky and deceitful. In fact it often cleverly hides behind a righteous act, even deceiving the very one who believes he is doing the right thing. That’s because a right action without a right heart is never really right. A wrong heart corrupts that which has been done with the best of intentions. Just think of it. Consider the committed Christian spouse who on one hand agrees with God about divorce but on the other has allowed their heart to despise their spouse. He or she will remain in the marriage, perhaps even trying their best to disguise their unhappiness and misery, accepting and surrendering to their lot of suffering, refusing to acknowledge and take the sinfulness of their own heart towards their spouse to the LORD for the healing and restoration of their heart and their relationship. He or she will blindly believe they are pleasing God by staying, resigned to never loving their spouse the way the LORD desires for them to do so. It’s a farce! And it is a sinful heart that deceives them into thinking that the sacrifice of staying is enough, that as long as the marriage survives, they’ve done their part. You see how stubborn we are as human beings! We are willing to go through great measures outwardly-just leave our hearts out of it!

Think about it and think about how we are all guilty of trusting in the Lord halfheartedly in the things closest to our hearts. When it comes to matters of the heart we like to be in control.

How many marriages do you know like that? How many times have you experience the distance a wrong heart has created in your own marriage? It’s funny how we can think we’re choosing obedience to God and believe we are doing the right thing in our actions and yet willingly keep our hearts far from Jesus in the matter. Seriously, the heart wants what the heart wants and believe me it will find a way to justify what it wants. It will also be willing to compromise under the disguise of sacrificial love to refrain from really loving at all. It can be complicated right?! I mean certainly the God who is able to save the marriage is also able to sanctify the marriage! So the victory lies in dealing with the heart at even the slightest inclination of the development of a sinful heart attitude. We must walk in faith in such a way that we are examining our hearts daily so as to not give any ground to the devil. For once we are in the throes of battle in our marriages, we won’t want our hearts to be changed, all we will care about is winning. Unfortunately for some it won’t matter if their spouse waves the white flag of surrender and reveal a heart that has done a complete 360 degree turn around. The heart will have so hardened there will be nothing the other person can do to influence it or change it. And so Jesus permitted Moses to allow those with that kind of heart to divorce. But they were never to marry another.

A sinful heart is always the root of the problem. This kind of heart will almost always allow feelings to have the greater priority. This kind of heart can go its own way and divorce never looking back and it’s ALSO the kind of heart can physically stay with a heart that intends on keeping itself as far away as possible from their spouse. It’s the kind of heart that will stay in the marriage but will say to itself “I will stay but I refuse to truly forgive you;” “I will stay but I refuse to love you;” “I will stay and even love you somewhat, but I will refuse to like you;” or “I will stay but refuse to love you the way you have communicated to me how you need to be loved.” All of this is sin! It’s the kind of heart that may consider the other person and may consider God, BUT it will still pick and choose for itself what its willing to do, and what it can and cannot live with.

The LORD said “the two shall become one.” Oneness isn’t simply relegated to a physical state. No, oneness has to do with intimacy-connection of the soul. So to remain physically, all the while separating, distancing, and divorcing from one’s spouse is actually quite ridiculous because a serious breach has occurred.

Make no mistake about it, the LORD is sensitive to what we deal with and how very weak we can be. But HE also knows what can be in and through HIM. The LORD died to deliver us from the wages of sin. We have to realize when we have allowed ourselves to get to the place where we’re either considering divorce or deciding to refrain from truly loving our spouses, sin has already gotten a hold of our hearts in a very real way. And that’s the reason why at this point, even as Christians, it can be hard to even care about sinning against God when it comes to our marriages. The epitome of a hardened heart is a heart that no longer considers God.

Often times in troubled marriages one rarely decides both to stay and submit their heart fully to God. As I’ve already emphatically stated one may in fact think that the act of staying is the act of obeying. And it is in part-but only in part. But without the heart being changed, the so-called “change of heart” to remain and stay put, is only superficial at best.

Now if you’re in love do you want only 10% or 20% of the other person’s love? What about 80% or 90%? I’m sure you’d say “no, I want 100%!” Well its the same for the LORD, He wants 100% of our hearts.

So what is one to do when the marriage has changed because a spouse has changed? What is one to do when it seems the love is no longer there? What is one to do when the marriage has become dull and lifeless? Is divorce the answer then? Is divorce their only hope? I can confidently say based on the authority of God’s Word that the answer is NO! The LORD hates divorce! And the LORD does not approve of hard hearts either! So commit to not divorcing AND commit to maintaining a loving heart towards your spouse!

I leave you with this: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the Word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands are to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself……and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” Ephesians 5: 25-33

Let’s each do our part and show the world what a marriage based on the foundation of Christ Jesus Himself can be! Healed, Restored, Victorious, Blessed, Fruitful, Powerful!

HEART TO HEART: LOVING JESUS WITH ALL OF OUR HEART WILL KEEP US FROM DEVELOPING A HARDENED HEART TOWARDS OTHERS.

                                                                               Heart Matters                                                                                                             “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.” Proverbs 13:12

I’m back!  My hiatus is over and I’m ready to pour out in ink what The Holy Spirit pours into my heart! So much has happened this year, great things (if I shared them with you, you might just think I was bragging).  Suffice it to say 2018 thus far has been a year of reaping for me, in more ways than one!  It’s also been a year of serving and pouring out, which is why it took me a bit to get back to my blog.  I’m not a natural writer, in fact writing oftentimes is a little bit of a painful process for me.  Which I why I never post anything which I feel wasn’t written through the power and equipping of the Holy Spirit. My passion is to share with others (women), what the Lord has shared with me.  During my time off from posting I wrote at least 4 different blogs, but I just didn’t feel led by the Holy Spirit to release them-they were too difficult to write and they didn’t flow-when HE is in it I can tell.

During my break from blogging of course the enemy jumped right in there too, reminding me of my limited audience, whispering how it wouldn’t matter  anyway-because not many are reading and hardly anyone leaves any comments. (Words of affirmation is my love language-just saying). The devil always makes his appeals to the flesh because it’s weak and vulnerable especially during times of conflict and confusion. But my spirit knows better. I truly believe keeping and writing this blog is worth it if the LORD only uses it to richly affect and encourage the life of just one for Christ. So once again-I’m all in!

I thought I’d start by sharing with you how despite my many blessings this year and notably some very incredible spiritual victories, something very significant seemed to had gone missing from my soul. It was as though my mind knew how I should be feeling (because of all my recent blessings including incredible spiritual growth), but somehow the message didn’t fully make it to my soul and I was left confused trying to figure it out and reconcile the discrepancy.  It wasn’t long before I began to see the results of my inner struggle manifesting itself in my outward behavior.  I became short, easily frustrated and struggling not to just sink into a great big rut.  I was so miserable in fact, one day in an effort to make light of it and filter it through my weird sense of humor, I was tempted to post the following on Instagram:  “I’m not sure if I’m depressed because I’m so lazy, or if  I’m so lazy because I’m depressed.”  🙂 

Continue reading HOPE DEFERRED →

Heart Matters

“These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace.  In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.”  John 16:33

I absolutely love the 80’s song “Shiny Happy People” by R.E.M.  Just hearing it makes me want to just jump up and down and dance!  Although my husband and sons think I’m crazy and can’t understand how I could love such a “cheesy song”,  the lyrics, the music, just resonates with the child-likeness of my soul.  If you’ve ever had the privilege of seeing the video, just imagine me right there with them jumping up and down and dancing-choosing and purposing to be a shiny happy person!

I truly believe Christians are CALLED to be Shiny, Happy, people.  We have every reason to be!  We have JESUS!  Besides, Jesus Himself said we are the light of the world.  We are to reflect the light of Christ to others!  We’re to be shiny!  Just think about it, who can see something shining and not go in for a closer look?  Shiny things catch attention.  Have you ever taken a walk and saw something in the distance glistening in the sun on the ground?  If you have I’m willing to bet you didn’t just walk on by and ignore it.  I’m sure you made a bee line to it.  You wanted to investigate to see exactly what it was, to see if it was as valuable as it looked from far away.  Fishermen often use different metallic shiny lures as bait because of it’s effectiveness for catching fish.  Shiny is attractive! When my niece Kayla was small, like around 3 years old she told me she wanted me to wash and set her hair because she wanted it to be “shiny.”  The next day she became quite angry when it didn’t meet her expectations.  I’ll never forget her disgust and her lack of hesitation to communicate to me that I “didn’t get it shiny enough” (lol).  Shiny is a good thing, even little kids know it.  Today people have popularized terms such as “bling” “glitter and glam” but to me a simply “shiny’ is all that’s needed.

Have you ever met a “shiny” person.  You know someone who always has a smile on their face.  Someone who just radiates joy.  You can see it in their eyes-they are happy people.  I can’t go on without giving a shout-out to some of the most shiniest people I know: Mia, Tasha, Valerie, Chanel and Kaitlin…I want to be shiny every day just like you!

Continue reading Shiny People →

Heart Matters

“Remember this, and show yourselves men; Recall to mind, O you transgressors.  Remember the former things of old, For I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like Me,..” Isaiah 46:8-9

Happy New Year everyone!  2018 here we are! New beginnings, new resolutions, new seasons, new blessings, new goals…lots of new things to look forward to!  Let the change begin!  Right?  Right! We’re always excited about the new things.  One of my favorite OT passages is in my favorite OT book, the book of Isaiah.  It says, “Behold, I will do a new thing, Now it shall spring forth; Shall you not know it?  I will even make a road in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.” Isaiah 43 19.  Awesome!  Oh the things our God can do!  I also love this one (don’t get me started lol) in Jeremiah: “Call to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know.”  Jeremiah 33:3  Have Mercy!  I just get so excited when I think about the goodness of God!  Truly HE has lots of good things in store for His children.  Don’t we just love that about Jesus!  We always welcome the good…don’t we?  We always welcome the chance for a new start.  But who said good always means new?  And who said old always means bad? Did I trip you up yet?  I hope not!  Stay with me here.  As we enter into a whole new year, I want to challenge you to consider the old.  I want you to think about those things in the past that God has been prodding your heart to deal with but for whatever reason (I’m sure there are many), you’ve decided to ignore His call to face it with HIM, and instead have allowed yet another year to pass, naively thinking it’s also a thing of the past.  I’m speaking of that issue of which you had the very strong feeling that the Lord was urging you to deal with but you still decided to ignore it and turn the blind eye.

There’s nothing like trying to moving forward when we’re unknowingly seriously tethered down.  We can so easily set our sights on what lies ahead reaching and striving to attain the same, not realizing we must first turn around and look that weight right in the face and deal with it entirely in order to get released from its oppression and pressure.  I’m suggesting sometimes when there’s an issue the LORD is calling us to deal with, there’s really no freedom to move forward until we do.

Continue reading Grace To Face It →

Heart Matters

 “But those things which proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and they defile a man.” Matthew 15:18

I have been a person who for most of my years called it like I saw it.  I was told as a little girl that I was “sassy”.  Later it became “opinionated”, “strong-willed”, “direct.”  However, the truth was that I really didn’t speak out on things unless I really felt very strongly about them.  I guess you can say I can be very vocal about the things I’m passionate about.  I believed the things I spoke out about were worth speaking about and that the end result would be worth all the struggle.  But that wasn’t normally the case.  My words almost never yielded the response I was hoping for.  (I know now that’s because my words have no power unless the Lord puts power into them and He will only do that when He commands me to speak into someone’s life).

Later when I became a Christian, actually much later in my walk of faith, I began to realize the damage my self perceived “gift of gab” was wreaking on those who were “blessed” enough to be on the receiving end of it.  In an effort to quickly change and control my mouth, I started overcompensating.  When I would feel really strongly about something, I’d silence myself.  It was just too dangerous to risk it.  I was already dealing with the repercussions of my unbridled tongue in several of my relationships and so I became almost fearful to speak my mind and share my heart.  I failed often at this and so every time I did speak up, despite my good intentions I was always worried afterwards that I didn’t say it exactly right or that some miscommunication happened along the way and I would be completely misunderstood.  The struggle was real!  I was going against my nature and although I was doing so out of an desire to be obedient to Christ and bridling my tongue the way I believe HE wanted me to, I was going in alone-depending on my own strength and ability. And so my all or nothing behavior once again left me stranded feeling like I was in the middle of no where.  Although I was trying to be a good Christian in this area of my life, I had the feeling I was missing the mark.  Falling short of true submission before the Lord and suffering the consequences of my fleshly failures.  I was miserable!

Continue reading The Freedom of Speech →

Heart Matters

“And again He stooped down and wrote on the ground. Then those who heard it, being convicted by their conscience, went out one by one, beginning with the oldest even to the last.  And Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst.”  John 8:8-9

I recently submitted an article to a Christian Magazine for publication.  The subject was about the importance about not judging others.  As a believer who fell hard into legalism at one time, I’m serious about not wrongfully judging others (both believers and non believers) and about not having a wrong heart attitude towards other people.  But I have to say I submitted that particular article out of obedience to the Lord. I truly felt after much prayer and seeking His face that it was the article He wanted me to submit for publishing.  However, out of all the articles I’ve written, it wasn’t one of my favorites, also because it’s (judging) is such a delicate subject and one which can difficult to rightfully understand, I felt apprehensive about it.  “Judging Others” is a subject which can be greatly misunderstood, so  I carefully reviewed my article over and over again to make sure it was doctrinally sound.  The last thing I’d ever want to do is water down the truth especially as it pertains to God’s call to holiness in the life of a believer.  I’m not oblivious to the fact that there are believers out there who are big on “not judging others” but who refuse to ever hold other believers accountable.  I also know there are those Christians (like I used to be) who are almost consumed with making other believers behave and live in a holy manner acceptable in their sight leaving no room for God’s own process of spiritual growth in the life of His children.  They impose their lists of “do’s and don’t” on the lives of believers and unbelievers alike and in doing so do much damage to the cause of Christ.  We can all tend to lean to one extreme or the other.  But God is a God of Balance.

By the way, I did submit the article for publication.  It hasn’t been published yet because these things take time.  But we will see if indeed it was the one God wanted me to submit if it is chosen for publication.  I’ll keep you posted.  Now back to the blog (Lol). Lately I’ve been thinking, no realizing  that often times when people accuse you of judging them, since they have no real way of knowing the intent of your heart, they can have it all wrong. I’m starting to see that the real reason they feel you are judging them is not because you are, but rather is because their own conscience is convicting them.  WOW!  Okay for those of you who are reading this and saying “duuuhhh Kirsten”, I’m sorry but y’all are going to have to indulge me for a moment.  I mean, wow, there have been so many times when I have been accused of judging when I really felt I wasn’t.  I would self-examine and just come to the conclusion that I must have come across that way.  My personality is such that I’m straight forward, to the point, and no holds barred.  But I am also a very loving and kind person (and yes Kat, I still think I’m sweet too) too.  I always took full responsibility when that indictment was handed down to me.  I had a past of legalism and actually being a judgmental out of order person-guilty as charged.  But I wasn’t always being judgmental and there have been times when the label has been permanently affixed to me when it wasn’t further from the truth.  Chains loosed!

Continue reading The Conviction of Conscience →

Heart Matters

“I know, O LORD, that Your judgments are right, And that in faithfulness You have afflicted me.  Psalm 119:75

Every now and then I muster up the courage to catch a couple of episodes of the series Intervention.  I have to make sure my heart is prepared for the brokenness I’m about to witness, the sadness I’ll have to partake of, just because of my decision to watch the show. At times it seems almost sinful to watch a show which reveals a person at what seems to be their utmost lowest level ever.  It’s hard to watch a young lady so intoxicated she’s falling down in the street as she tries her hardest to make it to the store to buy even more alcohol.  It’s heart wrenching to see a person having so much potential yet spending day in and day out completely checked out of life and suffering every moment of their sobriety.  It’s a tough show to watch.  Yet something about it draws me to it.  I’ve watched it enough to know there are always two main points regarding the person’s life that’ll be revealed: the painful event(s) which led to their brokenness in the first place, causing something inside of them to seem to have a subconscious desire to die; and the result of the intervention when their loved ones all pull together for the common goal of getting him/her the help they so desperately need. The reason I’m willing to go through the discomfort of seeing another person’s pain is because there’s a chance I’ll also get to witness their healing.

Intervention is a show which reveals how extremely broken we can become when we are abused, mistreated, and greatly hurt.  It shows how for some, when that brokenness is left unresolved and hasn’t properly been dealt with, it can lead to a road of inconceivable addiction and unbelievable dysfunction.  When the sinful actions of others break and crush us we can tire of our very lives and many on the show, in their effort to escape their pain and sorrow, choose instead to live in a sort of catatonic state, closely resembling the walking dead.  Occasionally, I watch Intervention because it’s a show that offers hope and a chance for a new life.  However, in order for that to happen truth has to show up, and be dealt with, and get accepted.  The person has to tire of their same old ways and habits and realize that they can’t do it on their own. Only then can the person make  the choice to accept what’s been prepared for them, to save them out of their addiction, heal their brokenness, and break the chains of bondage.

Okay so this blog isn’t a promo for the show Intervention.  However, whenever I watch it I can’t help but think about how broken we all are, or have been, in some shape or form. Like the addicts on the show, for some of us, we too weren’t able to be rescued until we hit rock bottom.  For some of us it’s not until we are completely down that we’re able to look up and cry out for help to GOD. For many of us, this is how we were led to our salvation. Our brokenness caused us to accept the truth-that we are broken, separated from God because of our sin, and the fact that only Jesus made a way to save us and fill our void. When we made the choice to believe in the resurrected Christ and HIS finished work on the cross, our wounds were healed, our chains were loosed, and we were set free to freely live for HIM. Our brokenness ultimately led to our wholeness in Christ and we now know that only JESUS could have ever filled our voids.  But that’s not the end of it…..no, as we begin our new life in Christ-it is only the beginning!

Continue reading Divine Intervention →

Heart Matters  

“Even my own familiar friend whom I trusted, Who ate my bread, Has lifted up his heel against me.” Psalm 41:9

If I were to ask you what do you think I mean when I use the phrase “set up to sin”, I’m sure you’d think I’m referring to the obvious, to being lured in some way into some sort of temptation to commit the sins of the flesh.  It makes logical  sense to think of coming face to face with those outright sinful things we would just love to partake of and indulge in; the things we’ve turned away from and have no intentions of returning to. Most of us know the areas in which we have a propensity to sin. Those places for which we’ve purposely established boundaries to keep ourselves from stumbling and falling.  When the word “sin” is spoken, it doesn’t take long for our memory to recall our record, the areas in which we have been repeated offenders.  Our history prevents us from being oblivious to our capacity to sin.

Continue reading Set-Up To Sin →

Heart Matters

“The woman answered and said, “I have no husband.” Jesus said to her, “You have well said, ‘I have no husband,’ for you have had five husbands, and the one whom you now have is not your husband; in that you spoke truly.” John 4: 17-18

I can’t believe I’m going to say this but here it goes-as a middle aged woman (ouch) there are certain terms the African American young culture have come up with that I find quite clever and spot on!  One such term is the word “thirsty”-as in someone being desperate to the point of degradation and humiliation.  I find it very accurate and appropriate for the day and age we live in today-one in which there is simply no shame.  With the popularity of social media and the visibility it affords it seems everyone wants to be famous.  The majority of the young women today seem to think they have what it takes to be a top model. They take selfies while in restrooms, at the dining table, and even while driving in the car. They can apply their makeup like they’ve been to cosmetology school and some of them are able to transform themselves in a way that without their glam they’d simply be unrecognizable. They’re selling something, it seems to be themselves, and so they don’t even shy away from revealing their barely clothed bodies even though they know hundreds, for some, thousands of strangers are watching.  “THIRSTY.”  Whether they know it or not- they’re thirsty-for attention, for acknowledgement, for affirmation.  I suppose the number of “likes” can temporarily provide some satisfaction, quenching their thirst at least for a moment-that is until they thirst again.  Yes, I do believe the word “thirsty” aptly describes many of the broken and misguided young women growing up in our world today.  Until they turn to the One who provides “living water” they will thirst, over and over again.

Continue reading Encounters With Christ-The Woman At The Well →