Heart Matters

 “But those things which proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and they defile a man.” Matthew 15:18

I have been a person who for most of my years called it like I saw it.  I was told as a little girl that I was “sassy”.  Later it became “opinionated”, “strong-willed”, “direct.”  However, the truth was that I really didn’t speak out on things unless I really felt very strongly about them.  I guess you can say I can be very vocal about the things I’m passionate about.  I believed the things I spoke out about were worth speaking about and that the end result would be worth all the struggle.  But that wasn’t normally the case.  My words almost never yielded the response I was hoping for.  (I know now that’s because my words have no power unless the Lord puts power into them and He will only do that when He commands me to speak into someone’s life).

Later when I became a Christian, actually much later in my walk of faith, I began to realize the damage my self perceived “gift of gab” was wreaking on those who were “blessed” enough to be on the receiving end of it.  In an effort to quickly change and control my mouth, I started overcompensating.  When I would feel really strongly about something, I’d silence myself.  It was just too dangerous to risk it.  I was already dealing with the repercussions of my unbridled tongue in several of my relationships and so I became almost fearful to speak my mind and share my heart.  I failed often at this and so every time I did speak up, despite my good intentions I was always worried afterwards that I didn’t say it exactly right or that some miscommunication happened along the way and I would be completely misunderstood.  The struggle was real!  I was going against my nature and although I was doing so out of an desire to be obedient to Christ and bridling my tongue the way I believe HE wanted me to, I was going in alone-depending on my own strength and ability. And so my all or nothing behavior once again left me stranded feeling like I was in the middle of no where.  Although I was trying to be a good Christian in this area of my life, I had the feeling I was missing the mark.  Falling short of true submission before the Lord and suffering the consequences of my fleshly failures.  I was miserable!

What resulted was insincerity and hypocrisy.  When it came to sharing my views in regards to the things that were close to my heart, perfection became my standard.  Only I had no idea what that looked like.  How could I? How could I possibly know when it was the right time to share my strong opinions and at the time mostly dogmatic viewpoint with others?  Before I continue, I want you to know that this had nothing to do at all with the fear of rejection. I mean, that’s NEVER stopped me before.  Tough Love always came easy for me.  What I feared was hurting people and causing them to run from and reject Christ. For this would have been the complete opposite of the response I sought to cultivate. The motivation of my heart has always been to draw others to the LORD.

As the Lord began to infiltrate my heart with love and compassion it began to change the way I communicated truth.  But I needed Him to show me how to do it, when to do it, every single step of the way.  Jesus definitely wants us to speak truth but it always needs to be done so in love.  So as I began this journey, this is exactly what He did for me.  Every time I went to Him first before opening my big mouth, He would tenderly lead me to either be still and quiet, to speak lovingly, or just wait for the time He wanted me to share.  Eventually the Lord did something even more profound!  I can’t praise Him enough because of His faithful commitment to sanctifying and perfecting us.

Now I know you might be saying well what gives you the right to think you should ever have something to say? I mean who do you think you are?!  Trust me, I get it.  Well I’m nobody, nothing, just a willing vessel the Lord has called to speak.  And I’d be lying if I didn’t say I feel very strongly called to it, as though its been woven into the very fiber of my being.  You know, sorta like when Jeremiah said “Then I said, “I will not make mention of Him, Nor speak anymore in His name. “But His Word was in my heart like a burning fire shut up in my bones; I was weary of holding it back, and I could not.” Jeremiah 20:9.  No comparison, I mean that with the utmost respect, but I love this strong language and how Jeremiah absolutely nailed this!  His passion for the LORD was undeniable! Boom!  So what gives me the right to say anything on His behalf? The answer is WHO.  Jesus gets the say so.  Therefore as long as I feel led and called by HIM, I will  speak to others about Him as long as He calls me to. Now here’s the thing about our passion for the Lord, our strong propensities and our distinct personalities, our call-it all has to be taken into captivity to the Lord.  Only then can we operate in true obedience to Him, even when we’re operating in our gifts.

One of the most profound things the Lord has taught me as I progressed in this struggle  with speaking out and learned to take it to Him first, is HIS ability to correct and heal me in ways I’ve never imagined.  The LORD knows how to pull up and get to the root of things.  Even though He was willing to lead me step by step, HE took an even greater step-HE began purging and perfecting my heart.  The Lord goes deep and heals in a way that we are left with a wholeness and completeness that we’ve never experienced before and never possessed to begin with. This is what I’ve learned, what HE’s showed me: When the heart is right we have freedom of speech.  When the heart is right we’ll be sensitive about when and when not to speak.  When the heart is right our speech will be right.

As the Lord began removing the malice, the contempt, and the judgement something miraculous began to happen.  As HE began to purge my sinful responses to all the times I’ve had difficult conversations and experienced rebuke for sharing the truth of God’s Word, He began to make room for something entirely new.  It’s called FREEDOM!  Freedom, sweet freedom!  As my heart was changed and cleaned up, my conscience no longer condemned me.  More and more the words I shared originated from a clean place and stayed clear of the sin that would so easily pervert them.  This clarity led to more wisdom and discernment.  I began to speak out of love and compassion and my once contaminated speech was now more pure, seasoned with grace.  Praise God!

Now I’m not saying I have this thing down pat.  I’m saying I’m growing and doing much better with it.  I’m saying the enemy can no longer use my calling to condemn me.  I’m saying I’m free!  I’m free to speak in love!  I’m free to say something I shouldn’t have as well. Let me explain.  I’m free to mess up and make mistakes even in this area because it is no longer my norm.  I’m not living making excuses for myself, trying to justify my sin and refusing to repent of the damage I was causing with my words.  I have owned my sin, confessed it and repented of it.  The Lord heard my cry, rescued me, and equipped and empowered me to change.  Because the Lord knows my heart, He knows the work He’s been doing in it, and He knows where He’s bringing me to.  I might still fall, but I won’t get stuck.  Even as I fail, I’m still moving forward and growing in holiness in this very area of my life.  I’m free and my heart is full of love.  I’m free and I’m learning how to truly love.

Jesus said “A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil.  For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.” Luke 6:45

Even though I was saved, a believer and follower of Christ, I had some evil things that needed to be purged out of my heart.  They infiltrated my zeal and my good intentions and caused me to be harsh, legalistic, and unloving.  But God.  Jesus didn’t leave me there and because I belong to Him, He rebuked me, corrected me, and delivered me!  And guess what?!! He didn’t remove His call on my life!!! For that I am so very grateful!  God is so gracious and so amazing!

I live in a country where we have the Freedom of  Speech and I believe that’s an important freedom. Things can’t change when we silently pretend a problem doesn’t exist.  However, this worldly freedom of speech  unfortunately is subjected to the confines and complexities of all the different perspectives, experiences, biases, and filters of others.  As such, it isn’t usually well received or readily embraced and arriving at the intended results is normally a long and tedious process if not altogether impossible.  This has been evident  in some of the mainstream reactions and responses of others-those who just can’t understand or refuse to even try to even though many of them are Christians.

The ironic thing about the utilization of freedom of speech is that it often elicits and unleashes the wrong heart attitudes of others (including believers).  I believe even the most peaceful protests can provoke attitudes which seemed to have been suppressed either unconsciously or in the name of tolerance. I didn’t grow up during the Civil Rights movement but my mom did and she protested the injustices of her day: having to drink out of different water fountains, having to sit in the back of the bus and give up her seat to any white person even if it was a man who wanted it, not being allowed to dine in the front of restaurants. Segregation was an everyday occurrence in her life, evident in public places and schools.  She fought against it and was spat upon, called the “N” word throughout, and cruelly hated-just because of the color of her skin. It’s still hurtful to consider, but God used the protest and provided both progress and healing for my people.

One of the great things that can come out of protest and the ugliness which results is that we are able to see first-hand and hopefully are forced to deal with the unloving attitudes of our hearts.  At the very least it allows room for deep rooted sinful declarations to be made and we will be held accountable for the same before God for it if we don’t repent. Protest seems to have a way of  either ushering in tolerance or pushing it to it’s end.  Tolerance at its best is temporary.  God never stops at tolerance, He goes deeper desiring to teach us how to truly love.  Tolerance is deceitful, contributing to a sense of false peace.  It’s only a band-aid that causes the infected sore to remain and putrefy under a delicate covering.  Only LOVE heals.  Protest isn’t always ideal, it’s a painful process, but sometimes profitable things can result.  Protest that are in keeping with God’s Word can lead to: Changed hearts, changed minds, loving heart attitudes.

So when your immediate response is to lash out at whatever protest you witness, are you willing to self examine and see if you can get to a place of truly responding in truth and love?  I say truth because truth is needed in order to know how we are to love.  Truth can show us the way-to offer a loving response of full support or contribute the person’s wholeness and healing by showing them some tough love.  Truth is the way because there are some things which are protested that are just outright sinful and are full on rebellion against God.  We are never to cave in to compromise.  I can’t help but wonder how many Babylonians became incensed with Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego when they refused to join the masses and bow down to the image?  I wonder how many felt offended by their lack of patriotism?  Something to think about right?

Personally my preference is prayer as opposed to protest-but like I said, I will speak up when led by the Spirit of God.  My hearts desires are to be taken to Him first and only then moved into the realm of my humanity when HE says so.  Protest has to do with making an appeal to mankind whereas prayer is simply asking God in accordance to His will.  Only God has the power to change hearts.  Even my patriotism has to be taken into captivity to Christ.  As a patriotic person grateful to be born in the land of the free (although that took a bit for my people) and the home of the brave, I can lovingly support all those who have the conviction to stand for what they believe in (when it doesn’t conflict with the Word of God) even when they chose to respectfully kneel as they seek to make our country even greater. “Justice for all” after all is in our Pledge.

However, we must understand that the freedom of speech which we have in this country is subjected to the response of the country.  But the freedom of speech we have from God is supernaturally discerned and is subjected to no man.  Now that’s powerful! When God puts His stamp of approval on our words they will accomplish what He desires for them to accomplish.  Sure man can resent and reject them, but he can’t stop them from the realization God has for them.  We are free to obey God because God is our only Judge.

True Freedom of Speech is speaking the truth in love how God tells us too, when He tells us to. True Freedom of Speech can only come from a Pure Heart.  As we all have our own opinions about current events and such lets make sure our first allegiance is to the LORD JESUS CHRIST.  We can go to Him and He will show us the way.  This is what HE says in Micah 6:8 “HE has shown you, O man, what is good.  And what does the LORD require of you? To seek justice and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.” 

HEART TO HEART: A RIGHT HEART WILL SPEAK THE RIGHT WORDS.