Heart Matters “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.” Proverbs 13:12
I’m back! My hiatus is over and I’m ready to pour out in ink what The Holy Spirit pours into my heart! So much has happened this year, great things (if I shared them with you, you might just think I was bragging). Suffice it to say 2018 thus far has been a year of reaping for me, in more ways than one! It’s also been a year of serving and pouring out, which is why it took me a bit to get back to my blog. I’m not a natural writer, in fact writing oftentimes is a little bit of a painful process for me. Which I why I never post anything which I feel wasn’t written through the power and equipping of the Holy Spirit. My passion is to share with others (women), what the Lord has shared with me. During my time off from posting I wrote at least 4 different blogs, but I just didn’t feel led by the Holy Spirit to release them-they were too difficult to write and they didn’t flow-when HE is in it I can tell.
During my break from blogging of course the enemy jumped right in there too, reminding me of my limited audience, whispering how it wouldn’t matter anyway-because not many are reading and hardly anyone leaves any comments. (Words of affirmation is my love language-just saying). The devil always makes his appeals to the flesh because it’s weak and vulnerable especially during times of conflict and confusion. But my spirit knows better. I truly believe keeping and writing this blog is worth it if the LORD only uses it to richly affect and encourage the life of just one for Christ. So once again-I’m all in!
I thought I’d start by sharing with you how despite my many blessings this year and notably some very incredible spiritual victories, something very significant seemed to had gone missing from my soul. It was as though my mind knew how I should be feeling (because of all my recent blessings including incredible spiritual growth), but somehow the message didn’t fully make it to my soul and I was left confused trying to figure it out and reconcile the discrepancy. It wasn’t long before I began to see the results of my inner struggle manifesting itself in my outward behavior. I became short, easily frustrated and struggling not to just sink into a great big rut. I was so miserable in fact, one day in an effort to make light of it and filter it through my weird sense of humor, I was tempted to post the following on Instagram: “I’m not sure if I’m depressed because I’m so lazy, or if I’m so lazy because I’m depressed.” 🙂