Heart Matters

“Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,  I will fear no evil; For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.”  Psalms 23: 4

I swear (figuratively) it seems the older I get, the weaker I get. Sometimes it feels as though life has just beat the mess out of me and I have no more strength left.  Yes, at times I get weary of feeling worn and I can so relate to Mary J. Blige when she said “No More Drama.” The older I get (I’ll be 48 this year), the less tolerance I have for the nonsense.  I guess this is partly due to the wisdom that comes with aging, the smarts to know how to pick our battles, and the ability to discern when we should engage altogether. But I’m starting to realize that as I grow older some of the things I used to be able to conquer and/or rebound from quite easily are now the same things that can cause me to isolate and retreat.  It’s crazy because oftentimes I don’t even realize the reason why I’m growing weary or experiencing feelings of frustration.  It can take me a while to put two and two together almost as if I’m in denial of my feelings (and believe me-this is not me). Then when I finally recognize the culprit, if I choose to respond to it in my flesh by taking cover instead of taking it captive to Jesus, I can eventually find myself feeling as though I’ve been thrust into a deep and dark valley, like the valley of the shadow of death.  Although the realization of being there is shocking, almost startling, I’m sure it didn’t happen overnight. I’m almost positive that most times the descending road to the valley of darkness is one of many twists and turns propelled by such sins as unforgiveness, failure to trust the Lord, or an unrepentant heart. How do we get there?  Disappointment leads to Discouragement leads to Discontentment leads to Depression.  When left uninterrupted or undisturbed this trajectory is one of a downward spiral and we can quickly find ourselves hitting rock bottom and under the shadow of death.

Before I continue, I must say I use this reference “the valley of the shadow of death” cautiously as I know my valley experiences may not be even close to what being in that ominous valley has been like for some. I decided to use it as the title for this blog because this is what the Lord Himself recently used to meet me where I was.  It is the very verse and this very subject He used to redirect and rescue me.  So just as His Word always speaks life into me, I’m praying He’ll use this blog to do the same for you.  So let’s suffice it to say that this valley, “the valley of the shadow of death” doesn’t always have to do with facing death itself or even the worse case scenario, but is instead a vast and complex place where we all have visited at one time or another and have come face to face with a darkness personalized just for us.

Overall, “the valley of the shadow of death” is never a place we’d choose to  wind up in.  It’s a place we always somehow just seem to find ourselves in.  How we respond when we recognize where we are is everything!  In the valley we’re surrounded by darkness and if we’re not careful we can spend an insurmountable amount of time just wandering around aimlessly feeling as though we’re getting closer and closer to death.  Because of it’s darkness, the valley can be a place where we’re easily deceived.  Instead of grabbing hold of the hand of the One who is always with us, foolishly believing ourselves to be on our own, we desperately use all our energy clawing and trying to climb our way out. I confess that when I find myself in that gloomy valley, instead of turning to the Lord and laying my burden down, I always need to Him to come and pry it from my chest.  But that’s the point isn’t it?  He’s there! And even though we’re prone to wander He’s willing to make His presence known!  I’m so grateful Jesus never leaves me alone! Even when I can’t see Him, my Shepherd is right there ready to pull me in with His staff or deliver me from the grasp of the enemy with His rod (“Damaris, thank you for the the illustration.”).

This morning I woke up in a funk-I’d been in the valley for the last 2 or 3 days now.  The only reason I can even blog now is because The Lord met me this morning and and reminded me He is there!  The first thing I did after just lying in bed and silently crying out to the Lord was turn on Christian Radio. Revive Our Hearts (www.reviveourhearts.com) was on broadcasting what Damaris Carbaugh taught on Psalm 23.  When I caught it, Mrs. Carbaugh was speaking on this very topic-finding ourselves in the valley of the shadow of death-and it was powerful! I loved how she shared with such an open and transparent heart.  As she spoke I could hear the tears welling up through the crackle in her voice.  Even though I didn’t catch the entire broadcast, what she shared resonated deep within me. The feelings she conveyed as she relayed her struggle accurately described the same feelings I’d been struggling with.  So despite my strong desire to get to making my morning coffee, I refused to budge knowing this was a divine appointment.  I was keen to make sure I didn’t miss not even one second of her teaching.  I couldn’t risk missing what I knew the Lord had awaken me to receive.  He used Mrs. Carbaugh to remind me that even when we find ourselves feeling as though we’re in the valley of the shadow of death, we need to remember that we are not alone.  HE is there! She really put it into perspective when she stated that it’s the shadow of death and not death itself and because the Lord is with us, we have no need to fear. The same thing the Lord showed her, I believe HE was showing me: This time the valley was a result of the enemy’s attack.

So could it be that what I’m thinking has to do with growing older and becoming weaker really has more to do with becoming more mature in the faith and as a result experiencing greater opposition?  I mean it makes sense doesn’t it?  The more serious we become about surrendering to the Lord and living on purpose for Him, the more the enemy attacks with the aim to destroy or at least distract us.  Satan doesn’t want us accomplishing all the good things the Lord has for us to do. He knows if he can bury us in the valley we can’t rise to all the Lord has called us to. So the enemy brings it and he brings it hard.  He is relentless in his efforts to cripple and disable us.  Yeah I do believe that’s it!  Like Damaris reminded me of this morning, the devil is roaming about seeking to kill, steal and destroy. But get this-it’s only a shadow of death-Jesus is there and He’s destroy the enemy’s hold on death.

Now I believe if we’d put on our whole armor of God on a daily basis we’d be less susceptible to such attacks.  I can speak for myself and say that I definitely fail to do so every day and so at times I’m probably like the sick and feeble animal the lion picks out and decides to go after first.  The enemy is a formidable foe, one we can’t possible stand against without the providence and protection of God.  We do well to daily put on the armor of God and guard our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.  But also know this-there will be times when you find yourself in the “valley of the shadow of death” because He has ordained for you to be there.  How can I say this? Glad you asked!

Before I continue I want to make sure I thank Damaris Carbaugh for what she shared and Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth for broadcasting it on her program. It reminded me of something the Lord shared with me when I studied Psalm 23 and as such, inspired me to write this week’s blog. Listening to Damaris speak about the “valley of the shadow of death” caused me to remember the verse which precedes it: “He leads me in the paths of righteousness For His name’s sake.”

The Psalmist says “He leads me in paths of righteousness for His name’s sake.” and his very next words are “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death…”  WHATTT?!!! He leads me and I still have to walk through the valley of the shadow of death!?  Yup that’s what it says.  But Why?!  Well he tells us why-“…For His name’s sake.” Did you get that? Sometimes we find ourselves in the valley of the shadow of death and it has nothing to do with our own doing. But we can still rest in Him knowing full well that He always knows what He’s doing.  Consider this, if the Lord asked you to walk with Him through the valley of the shadow of death for the sake of just one person and a stranger at that, would you do it?  If the Lord required you to go with Him through the valley of the shadow of death for someone who hates or despises you, would you do it?  If the Lord called you to suffer in the valley underneath the shadow of death so you could experience Him in a way like you never had before, would you choose to do it?  I’ll go out on a limb and say probably not.  And this is the reason HE doesn’t leave it up to us.  The LORD knows what’s best and He’ll allow us to go through the valley just for His name’s sake knowing we’ll thank Him in the end.

Remember this, whenever we find ourselves in the valley of the shadow of death, for whatever reason, there’s no need to fear: “I will fear no evil; For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.” Psalm 23: 4  When He calls us to walk in it, The Lord walks with us through it! Yes! He is right there and that changes everything!  He has His rod and His staff and He means business!  Think about it.  Why should we fear the darkness when The Light of the World is with us?  Why should allow our predicament to defeat us when our Defender is right there alongside of us?  Why should we wander and lose our way when The Way is willing to guide us safely through? Some people say perspective is everything but I say only when it is rooted in The Truth!  You can trust The Good Shepherd, The Lord Jesus, to see you through! When we walk through the valley of the shadow of death hand and hand with Jesus all we’ll see is The Light.

In conclusion if you haven’t listened to the Revive Our Hearts broadcast “He Restores My Soul” by Damaris Carbaugh  I highly recommend you do so by clicking on the link above, click on radio, and her 3 day broadcast beginning on April 26th. I’m about to go back and listen to all 3 days! If you do the same, I know you’ll be blessed!

HEART TO HEART: LET THE TESTIMONIES OF THE BRETHREN STRENGTHEN AND ENCOURAGE YOUR HEART TODAY!