HEART MATTERS

“All things are lawful for me, but all things are not helpful.  All things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any.”  1st Corinthians 6:12

Wow!  Did you get that?!  Have you ever been with a group of believers, chose to abstain from something, and immediately someone judged you for it?  They perceived your decision not to partake as a “holier than thou” act of self-righteousness or some sort of manifestation of legalism.  Your decision to go against the grain can cause them to regard you as being “ridiculous”, “uptight”, a “party-pooper”, or a down right “kill joy.”  It’s those areas for us, the ones which are not the known black and white outright sins, which can trip us up and lead to resentment, judgement, and division.  It’s those complex grey areas in which some believers have liberty and freedom but others need to opt out of, refrain from, and restrict themselves, which can complicate our relationships. Whether you chose to forgo attending a rated R movie or something as simple as refusing to partake in having desert, when we’re socializing it can be hard to stick to our boundaries and convictions. It can be difficult to escape being misunderstood. When others enter the picture the lines the Lord’s drawn exclusively for us can be off-putting and confusing.  Unfortunately at times we believers are prone to jumping to the conclusion that the things one believer chooses to abstain from are same things they also believe all other believers in Christ should be abstaining from as well.  When a Christian publicly takes a stand in the grey areas of life among other believers, even if it’s in a relatively small social gathering or fellowship, we automatically assume they’re implying we all should be embracing the same standard for our own lives.  As a result we respond by either feeling judged or by becoming judgmental. We react as if either they’re being foolish or as though it’s being suggested we’re being failures.  So we become either defiant or defensive or both.

I’m not sure why it is we forget as individuals our walk with Christ, in many respects, are uniquely different from one another.  My walk isn’t your walk.  My weaknesses are different, my strengths are different.  My pace is different, and my gait is different. The areas you tread with ease might cause me to trip and fall-and vice versa.   Only the Lord knows where we are and what we can and cannot handle-our walk with Him has to be determined by Him.  We can’t even establish it for ourselves yet alone compare it to others. .

Before I go any further, just so we’re straight, it’s crucial you know that I’m not talking about outright sin in regards to what is”lawful” which may not be “helpful.” (If you want to know about the things that are definitely considered to be sin check out verse 9). Sin is never lawful.  Are we straight?  Good.  In this complex life there are many different variables to our journey with Christ. With that in mind it naturally follows that what may be lawful to one may not be helpful to all.  What may be helpful for one may not be helpful for another. Something that has no negative effect on one follower of Christ, may be devastating to another and even bring him/her under it’s power.  Therefore we need to be able to recognize our own individual potential vices and proclivities to sin.  If left unchecked we can fall prey and find ourselves stuck under something powerful that can ultimately lead us to sin against God.

Do you know the things that aren’t so “helpful” for you?  If you don’t I highly suggest you begin praying and asking the Lord about it.  As you do so, think about the places you lack balance and discipline. Think about the areas you look to for comfort and to distract you from the stress of life.  Reflect on the things you turn to in order to temporarily escape the things you’re dealing with that don’t seem to be going away any time soon.  What do you reach for when you begin to feel down in the dumps and depressed?  Consider these things and determine whether or not they cause you to sin in some way.  Yeah it’s those places, the crevices, where the “little foxes” love to hide to begin nibbling away at our healthy walk with the Lord. Just think about it, someone (a physically active person) may be okay having a big piece of chocolate cake every night for desert.  However this habit could lead another person to having an addiction to sweets.  Eventually every time they feel discouraged they may turn to that piece of cake as a coping mechanism or for comfort. Can you guess what sin that is?  Idolatry!  Someone may be strong enough to handle watching an occasional rated R movie.  They may be able to watch it and not allow it to have any negative impact on them at all. However for another, doing so may feed their flesh in a way that it begins rising up and the next thing they know they’re saying curse words again, modesty begins to go out the door, or they may even begin to become desensitized to sin. Get it?  Just in case you don’t……

Here are some more examples:

*It may be lawful for you to began watching a series on Netflix, but not helpful if you become preoccupied with it and mismanage your time.

*It may be lawful for you to socialize often with your non-believing friends, but not helpful if they begin to influence you more for the world than you influence them for Christ.

*It may be lawful for you to frequently date others, but not helpful if it leads you to impure thoughts and/or fornication.

 *It may be lawful for you to have lunch daily with your co-worker of the opposite sex, but not helpful if it causes you to be tempted to commit adultery.

*It may be lawful for you to serve in the area of ministry of your choosing, but not helpful if that’s not where the Lord is calling you to serve.

*It may be lawful for you to eat sweets, but not helpful if its interfering with your health and weight.

(This one is just for humor) It may be lawful to rescue every stray animal you see, but not helpful if you wind up becoming a cat lady. 🙂

Now lest I get accused of being a hypocrite by those who know me well, let me share just a few of the things that may be lawful for me that have not been helpful for me.  I absolutely love pastries and sugar!  But guess what?!  The Lord has allowed me to have a gluten intolerance (there goes the bread!) and I’m currently 20+ pounds overweight.  So I know I need to either forgo altogether or greatly limit my bread and sugar intake.  If I don’t I’ll remain overweight and continue to suffer the side-effects from the gluten.  The boundaries the Lord establishes for us are always for our own good.  What we take in usually affects us in one way or another. Television is another one of those areas for me. I noticed that some programs on t.v. can immediately cause me to focus on my outward appearance.  Every time I used to go by a certain someone’s house to visit (haha I’ll keep your anonymity) she would have on one of the Real Housewives reality (really?) shows.  I would watch with her as we visited.  It never failed I’d leave there thinking I really need to get me some new lipstick or a pair of false eyelashes.  Where did it come from?  That show of course!  Now while there’s nothing wrong with purchasing a new tube of lipstick and/or getting some dope false eyelashes-it’s completely lawful-focusing on the outward appearance too much can if we’re not careful lead us to an unhealthy preoccupation with self-and that’s not helpful. (It’s not the outward appearance God is concerned with-He looks at the heart 1st Samuel 16:7)  So we have to watch what we take in, know where we are, and realize what God expects from us so that the things that aren’t helpful for us don’t trip us up and lead us into sin.  This is how we can walk straight and upright on the path He has established before us.

I recently watched the BET New Edition television movie.  I used to be a huge fan of theirs back in the day and I even met them when we we’re all very young teenagers.  I hadn’t thought of them in a while but after that incredible biopic on their lives/careers, I found myself on YouTube revisiting all their old hits. I was having a blast!  But I soon realized what started off as harmless was turning into something else.  For several days I would get on my iPad to watch their videos and concerts.  I realized most times I had my eyes affixed to one band member in particular.  My crush back then was becoming my crush again! I had to get a hold of myself!  Was I 47 or was I 14 again?! I can’t be crushing on nobody-I’m a happily married woman!  And besides, “sorry Rizz, only Jesus gets to be the lover of my soul!” LOL-What the mess! What seemed so harmless (watching old videos and concerts) wasn’t so helpful for me. So I had to confess my sins to the Lord, repent of my groupie mentality, and pull away from what was pulling me in. (I’m keeping it real with y’all-so don’t judge me!).

Here’s the thing (and this is very important), if The Lord has graciously shown you the things that are “not helpful” and that can bring you “under it’s power”, if He has told you the things He wants you give up-GIVE THEM UP!  It’s for your own good and you will be blessed as a result.  It will keep you from sin! Know this-if the Lord has made it clear that you are to refrain from something and you don’t-you are sinning! “Therefore, to him who knows to do good and does not do it, to him it is sin.” James 4:17  Finally, if you do find yourself already under the power of something that’s not helpful to you, remember that if you are a believer in Christ, you have the power of The Holy Spirit living within you ready, willing and able to set you free!  “You are of God, little children, and have overcome them, because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.”  1st John 4:4 

HEART TO HEART: ASK GOD TO HELP YOU WALK UPRIGHT WITH HIM BY SHOWING YOU THE THINGS WHICH ARE NOT HELPFUL FOR YOU.