HEART MATTERS

“But to each one of us grace was given according to the measure of Christ’s gift.”  Ephesians 4:7

Have you ever done something really kind for someone only to later have that same person wrong you in some sort of manner?  Stings doesn’t it?  Normally when this happens we become incensed with that person.  The first thing our mind goes to is that time (or all those times) when we afforded them a special kind of grace so to speak.  We may have felt like they didn’t deserve it and yet we treated them to something special.  We may have thought “I’m going to probably regret this…” but we continued on in our friendship with them.  And even though that apology they gave really seemed insincere at the time, we chose to forgive them anyway.  When something questionable occurred, we chose to give them the benefit of the doubt, although the waving red flags were blinding us.  Overall, we chose to be “the bigger person”, in turn making them a recipient of our grace.  This “gift of grace” we’ve given them can be ever present with us even if it’s neatly tucked away in our subconsciousness.  Therefore when the offense happens, our minds can quickly remember all the good we did and why we never deserved to be so wronged.  As a result we can’t believe this person had the audacity to go there with us.  So our response is usually something like, “how could you!” or the “the nerve!” Every time this happened to me I had a special way of expressing my grief.  It wouldn’t take long for me to say “(such and such) completely stepped on my grace!”

One day I made this comment to a friend about someone else.  (I know I shouldn’t have.  I’m working on having more discretion.  But in this moment I went there and there I was mouthing off about how this person once again “stepped on my grace”.)  Immediately I felt that stick of conviction the Holy Spirit will sometimes ever so gently jab us with.  So when my conversation ended I began to pray about it to see why I felt convicted. As I examined myself, I knew the conviction wasn’t about me speaking about it to my good friend.  Normally anything I share with someone else, I’ve already spoken about it with the person involved. No, I knew this had to do with my phraseology-that sentence I so loved to use-“stepped on my grace.”  I started to realize maybe I had no right to say such a thing.  Although I thought it was a clever way to express what I felt maybe my wording was not so appropriate after all.

When my kids were little I couldn’t wait for them to finally began to speak!  It was like entering this wonderful world -where things were seen from a much simpler perspective and articulated in a very special way.  My oldest son as a little boy would say to me “mom you keep losing your promises” every time I failed to deliver on something I promised I would do.  If I’d put too much mayonnaise on my youngest son’s sandwich he would respond “it’s too hammy” because he associated mayo with ham sandwiches.  They would say things like “I want tuna dish” instead of tuna fish and “I wuv you” instead of I love you. Once when I told my youngest the story of Sampson killing the lion with his bear hands-his eyes lit up as he looked at his own hands and exclaimed “Sampson had Bear  Hands?!!!” Their words reflected their perspective and their personalities.  Even though at times they were a bit off, I loved hearing every single word that came out of their precious little mouths!

I have to believe that at times our heavenly Father sees His children the same way.  He patiently allows for our limited perspectives and our inaccurate assessments.  He knows that He has made us to grow.  As we spiritually grow, expand, and mature in the faith through His knowledge and grace, so too will our points of view and perspectives.  We will begin to align ourselves-our thoughts and our words-more and more with the truth of His Word.  It will be evident in both our beliefs and our actions-in what we say and in what we do.

As we grow in the faith we all have areas that are out of order and in need of correction. Such was the case for me with this “stepping on my grace” thing.  One of the first things I realized was that when someone hurt me I would immediately recall all the good I extended to them even if it was a very long time ago. This meant that I had always been holding “my gift of grace” over their heads.  Because of who I’d been and how good I’d been to my now offender I had developed some unreasonably high expectations.  I didn’t realize it but deep down I felt they were never to let me down. As I began to unravel the real meaning behind my go to statement, I questioned what it said about my perspective of grace.  I wondered whether or not we-recipients of grace can also be-givers of grace.

Grace originates with God.  God is really the only One who can give us Grace.  Grace has been defined as “God’s unmerited favor to man.”  It’s receiving what we really don’t deserve to receive.  Since God is the only true, righteous, and perfectly holy Judge, when we sin, we sin against HIM alone. It seems since the offenses we commit are against Him only, then HE is the only One who can truly extend Grace.  HE is the only One who can give us the blessings that we do not deserve.  I’m so thankful that that’s exactly what He did by sending His only begotten Son Jesus to die on the cross for our sins.  All us who believe have been saved by grace through faith in Christ alone ( Ephesians 2:8).  And guess what?!!! It doesn’t just stop there!  John 1:16 says He gives us grace upon grace!

But can we really give grace to others?  When I did a concordance search on “grace” most of the New Testament scriptures are encouraging believers to work and operate out of the grace that God has given to us.  So it seems that while we can’t actually give the gift of grace-many gifts can come out of us from the grace we’ve been given.  Because of the grace within us we can love the unlovable.  Because of the grace of God in us we can forgive the unforgiveable.  Because of His grace operating in and through us we can serve and sacrifice for the sake of others.  Although we can’t give grace to others in its fullest sense, we can be gracious to others!  It is through the  awesome power of His grace that we’re fully equipped for every good work.

As I began to work through this with the Lord I began to see I was in error.  Even if I thought it was “grace” I was extending all I had to do to see if that was true was take a look at the grace God extends to us.  Did those acts of kindness I did fit the bill to be called grace?  Let’s see if it was grace or not:

“Is it grace if later when the person wrongs you, you feel like what you extended has been trampled upon?”

“Is it grace if there’s strings attached?”

“Is it grace if there is some sort of expectation in return?”

“Is it grace if it’s lasting power and affect is predicated upon the the recipient always responding to you in a way that meets with your approval?”

“Is it really grace if it’s conditional?”

“Is it grace if the expectation is perfection?”

Oh my goodness! I wasn’t extending grace at all!  Because of the grace given to me from God I was forgiving, serving, loving and sacrificing-all of the fruit that comes out of His gift of grace within us. But the fact that I developed an expectation of a response of continuous gratitude meant that I couldn’t have possibly been extending grace.  I was acting righteously-doing the right thing and responding in the right way.  But this in and of itself was not grace.  What I was doing was-operating out of grace. Forgiveness, mercy, love, service and sacrifice are all extensions of God’s grace! God is the only one who can give grace and when He does so, its always:

• lovingly
• unconditionally
• no regrets
• repeatedly
• willingly
• sacrificially
• all for my good
• without any expectations

The Lord graciously showed me the truth.  I no longer use the phrase “he/she stepped on my grace.”  I have no expectations from others because they are indebted to Christ and not me.  I will continue to do good but I’ll always ask the Lord to make sure I do so with a right heart-a heart that’s so grateful for His grace it can’t help but to be gracious to others!

Let The Lord speak this to your heart:  “But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8  The ultimate act of grace!  On the cross Jesus took on our wretchedness and in exchange offers us His Righteousness!

HEART TO HEART: GOD’S GRACE EQUIPS US TO LIVE OUT THE GOSPEL!